"Private submarine carrying several billionaire tourists goes missing while surveying the wreckage of the Titanic."
Well, it had to happen eventually. This is where big-ticket extreme tourism and shooting untrained assholes into space and such was always going to lead – frankly, it's surprising that it took this long for a major incident to crop up.
"One of the missing passengers is the president and CEO of the company that owns and operates the submarine."
Huh. Well, points for putting his money where his mouth is, I guess. I wonder if–
"The missing CEO's name is Stockton Rush."
Oh, bullshit. That's not a real person – that's the name of a guy who builds an inexplicably 1950s-themed underwater theme park and then gets eaten by a shark in a cautionary tale about the perils of libertarianism. That's the name of a guy who carries off an oceanfront real estate scam that somehow ends with Superman fighting a telepathic squid. Fucking "Stockton Rush". Unbelievable.
